The Labour Party would like me to be the first to know...

I got a chummy email from Angela Eagle MP, beginning "Hi Sarah"! 

We're not on first-name terms, actually, as we've never met, but I signed a petition about ending the Gagging Bill a while ago so now apparently we're buddies. 

Anyway, Angela (I think I can call her that now, even though she's Shadow Leader of the House of Commons) tells me that the Labour Party have promised to do just that, apparently cos I expressed my opinion that gagging charities from speaking about policies which have something to do with their remit (like food banks talking about food poverty) is profoundly undemocratic. Or possibly because they were always against it: maybe that's it.

So using my new-found power, influence and friendliness with the Labour Party - even the Shadow Leader of the House of Commons! - I made a few more suggestions.
Here's her email: 

----- Original Message ----- From: Angela Eagle Sent: 04/03/14 06:04 PM To: Sarah Subject: Telling you first:

Hi Sarah, Earlier this year, the Tories passed the so-called gagging law: an act that limits your right to campaign on the issues you care about, and curbs charities' and campaigners' ability to speak out against government policy. I believe strongly that this law is bad for our democracy, and restricts freedom of speech in our country. So I want you to be the first to know this: a Labour government will repeal David Cameron's gagging law. We have been clear from the start that we oppose this gag on charities and campaigners, which was introduced with little consultation. If Labour wins the next election, we will remove it from the statute book. In its place we will legislate for real reform of lobbying, and we will consult with charities and campaigners on the reforms we need to both ensure transparency and protect freedom of speech. Our right to campaign on issues we care about must be protected, and this gagging law needs to be repealed. Best wishes, Angela Angela Eagle Shadow Leader of the House of Commons

Here's mine.

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Hi Angela! [Golly! But she started it!] Good! Well done. Could you also please re-nationalise the railways and the power companies for the benefit of the people? And end private prisons, which are a wicked disgrace to this country. And end the creeping privatisation of the NHS, even though some of your big names (like Lord Warner) stand to make lots of money out of it? Instead please could you concentrate NHS resources into medical work, not layers of bureuacracy and an 'internal market' - we know how that worked out for the BBC, after all. And pledge never again to use Capita again in any capacity? Also cancel Trident? And fund education decently? And agree to have some of your policies based on actual evidence of what works, not on prejudices and profit? And take climate change seriously as the biggest threat to our country currently existing or likely to happen in the coming 100 years? Because while this is a good start, it's only a start, and a small one at that. Best wishes Sarah Walker voter

Practice seminars today.

Students discuss rival candidates to become visiting lecturers and try to agree who to choose.

One student's vote went to Semen Cowell.

Surprisingly apt.

The Language of Disagreement

Preparing students for a seminar exam, recommended language for expressing disagreement includes:

- I'm afraid I'm not convinced...

- Well, you may have a point, but...

and

- I'm sorry but I really don't go along with that.

No mention at all of the most commonly used expressions in my household:

- Bollocks!

- Tummy rubbish!

and the diplomatic, not to say literary

- Up to a point, Lord Copper.


It seems a shame that students do not tend to get exposed to the actual English expressions used by people like me (by which I mean habitually foul-mouthed people, of course).

Which reminds me I have totally failed to introduce the expression 'bolleme' into everyday English. Based on lexeme, meaning a unit of lexis (or as we say in English, a word) bolleme means a unit of bollocks.

Examples:

Phew, that management meeting had a particularly high bolleme count, didn't it?

Looks like 'synergy' is bolleme of the day.

I thought that article was pretty good except for the bolleme on page 4

Adam Smith supposed that all participants in the market are rational actors and have all the information they need to choose rationally at all times based on their own best interests - which is a bit of a bolleme, when you come to look at the evidence.


There is clearly a need for this handy expression, but so far, alas, no takers.

Proof At Last!

Just a line to say that I finished the final proofs of Ghosts International: Troll and Other Stories today. Phewwee. Hurrah! It's expected to be out 20th July, barring conniptions.

The mountain quivered and brought forth a flea (half-remembered misquote from somewhere), meaning a lot of effort for a small (but perfectly formed) result.

In other news: B and I are working on a show in which I spin a web of tales connected with the sea, and B and I will sing some songs and shanties to explicate and illustrate the same. Tradition with a twist, something of that kind.

Taking a massive flight into imaginative brand development, we've come up with a name for the show which we think expresses something unique and marvellous about it.

Here it is: Stories and Songs of the Sea.

D'you like it?

We did consider Songs and Stories of the Sea, but the focus group decided it could be confusing.

All we've got to do now is come up with a name for ourselves. It's a bit of a short change to say Sarah Walker (with Barrie de Lara), as if he were a mere adjunct. So... maybe de Lara and Walker? With an ampersand: de Lara & Walker? Or de Lara/Walker? 

Now we know why I never went into marketing.

You've had the gifts, now for the shockers...

We were doing a reading comprehension when suddenly a student leapt up and ran out screaming.

Now, my classes are not usually that exciting.

What had happened was, she was sitting next to a girl who is a bit of a skivver. Let's call her Girl A and the screamer Girl B.

Girl A was using the class time to discreetly fool around on the Internet. Specifically, to fool around on an Arabic website that purports to tell you the future (terribly haram in the Islamic world, BTW).

Girl A had typed in a silly question to which the website bot replied "Stop playing! This is not a time for playing!"

Which caused a bit of a sensation. Especially with Girl B, who is a fairly sensitive soul.

On programming the video recorder

I did the BBC's 2005 online quiz about whether I was a digital citizen or not.

Well, the questions I knew the answers to, I knew.

And some of those I didn't know rather gave it away with their confusers - Christopher Wren has not been designing anything much recently - not since St Pauls and many beautiful churches, and Richard Rogers only does buildings (question 3).

Are we seriously expected not to have heard of them?

The other questions I had no clue about, but undoubtedly most of the information has been superseded over the last 3 years.

My score was 7 and the verdict was "probably still have problems programming the video recorder."

On the contrary.

I don't have a video recorder - or a TV - so I have no problems programming it.

It's not incapacity but lack of interest in almost everything that gets broadcast. (I do watch DVDs on the laptop).

I know the quiz was just a bit of frivolity, but why so insulting?

And, given that most of the information will by now be long out of date, what is it doing on this course anyway?

A classic confusion between the medium (the high tech equipment involved and the no doubt complex skills required to press the right keys on the remote control) and the message (in this case, the drivel that passes for 95% of TV output). Oh well, it's the Beeb so they're probably rather in favour of the drivel they broadcast...

Heyho.

Just call me an old fogey and have done with it - but it doesn't inspire.

Now, where did I put me cosy cardie?

More thinking

Have done no more actual work on the topic but just a bit more thinking.

Part of what I teach here comes under the heading of "career preparation" - focussing on skills in English which will be useful when our Business and IT and Engineering students get jobs. The kinds of tasks we ask students to do include job applications, CV writing, etc.

For example an assignment was to find an advert for a job you really could do and write a letter of application for it. But naturally most of the jobs the students look for are advertised online and don't even give a land address - it would be odd to reply to an online ad with a letter unless it was specified.

Students tend to use email principally as a private-life means of communication, which means that they are not usually familiar with the norms of business-style email communication... sign offs like "I miss U" etc abound.

So it needs some thought and a bit of work...